Well, just so much same-same for the third debate. I thought both men looked more tired than in the last two debates, but who could blame them for that? I’ve only watched the debates and I feel a year older. So certainly I can be excused for having an impish little desire to see:

* a clean judo flip at the end instead of that high-principled hand-shake. I mean, who are we kidding?

* similarly, the Teresa Heinz-Kerry/Laura Bush smackdown. Teresa looks like a born ankle-biter to me, but there’s something just weird about how Laura Bush smiles. I think she might have some Chinese stars tucked away up a sleeve somewhere.

* the commentator fake Kerry out just once:

Commentator: Sen. Kerry, do you smell cheese?
Kerry: Well, as your president I want America to realize that I do smell cheese. I certainly do. I think that’s one of the biggest differences between myself and the president. And just as I did when I was fighting for my country for four whole months … and I mean, I think that it’s indicative of the president’s failed policies that … um … I’m sorry, did you say ‘cheese’?

* or mess with Bush:

Commentator: Mr. President, want a deep-fried Twinkie?
Bush: Hell, yeah. HELL, yeah.

But as usual, I’ll have to settle for reality. Bummer.