2008 Stupid Christmas Present — honorable mentions
November 21st, 2008 ~ Pop goes the cultureI was wrong. There are LOTS of stupid things you can buy this year. All of these came by way of OhGizmo, to which you can turn, apparently, for all your useless contraption needs.
Consider the joys of presenting your loved one with:
- A calendar made of matches
- Solar vertical blinds that will show you a picture of a lamp on them.
- A gingerbread spoon. (All right, I admit it. I’m not sure that idea is so stupid. Anything made out of gingerbread has possibilities.)
- A beverage dispenser that fills from the bottom up.
- Spongebob Squarepants eyeball speakers.
- A Swiss watch with moon dust in it (or something that looks like moon dust, or might have come from my lint trap. Not sure). A real bargain at only $15,000!
- Mousepad warmer. Finally, an end to chilly mouse clicking!
- A 6-foot rubber band. The trouble your kids could get into with this is truly frightening to contemplate.
Isn’t this festive?
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November 21st, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Are you saying with our lint traps, we could make 15,000 a pop?
November 21st, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Easy money!
I didn’t even mention that $15,000 is the low end of the line of moon dust watches. They sell for up to $500,000. But I didn’t want to say that, because when I contemplate somebody paying over three times what I paid for my house in order to get a watch with dirt in it, my head explodes.
November 21st, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Ok, so you and I, gather our lint, split the proceeds, retire to a big parcel of land within walking distance of a monastary. Su-wheet! :)
November 21st, 2008 at 7:34 pm
Oh, be still my heart.
Okay, I wonder how many Orthodox have a deep, secret longing to retire to a parcel of land within walking distance of a monastery. I thought it was just me. Bunches of leftover prayers, but you still get to sleep in. Best of both worlds.
November 21st, 2008 at 9:45 pm
Clearly, it is more than just you and me :) Amen on the plusses and minuses.
My husband might not be so keen on the plan, though.
December 1st, 2008 at 6:35 pm
You know, you may need to get me those Sponge Bob eyeball speakers. Oh, wait, I don’t have an iPod, do I? Never mind, then.
December 1st, 2008 at 6:53 pm
Well, that would make it even a little MORE weird. Which — when you’re talking about cartoon character eyeball speakers — is really an accomplishment.